Please do not assault my eyes with the visual monstrosity termed Pajama Jeans.
Sincerely,
A college student who doesn't wear comfy clothes to class
My discovery of epic disbelief began as it always does: in the checkout line of Wal Mart. Don't get me wrong, I love Wal mart. My mother will forever shop in Wal mart, Costco, Sam's Club...you get the picture. I'm still surviving off of packs of pens and reams of paper she bought at closeout rates when I was 8. If I recall correctly, one pack of 4 pens was no more than 5 cents.
So yes, when my mom's paying, I can stomach the interesting encounters Wal Mart provides.
So back to school (college) shopping provided the purchase of usual necessities: wholesale volumes of laundry detergent, bath soap, fruits and veggies, and a few magazines if I say "But Mommy!" and bat my eyes a few times. And I thought it only worked on making my dates pay for dinner, apparently the eye-batting gets me what I want from everyone. Winning.
Checkout line: I load everything on the conveyor belt and hope that it's not filthy or wet from the frozen food condensation the guy in front of us left behind. Mother will make the cashier wipe it down before we load our purchases. And then make me wipe off the groceries before I put them in the fridge at home.
Not lying.
The smell of Clorox bleach immediately invokes memories of my mother and my sterile childhood. I rarely got sick.
ANYWAY, back to the conveyor belt and our purchases. So I'm waiting for mother to pay and we conveniently were in the "not sold in stores" and "weird trading cards" aisle. Yep, you know which one I'm referring to. You go there just for the shake weights and dachshund snuggies only sold in pink.
Look at this sexy beast. I wish I had a dog who knew what channel he wanted to watch. Don't worry, boy dogs wear pink snuggies too, and they get the ladies. Remember, tough guys wear pink.
And then I saw it PAJAMA JEANS. Oh yes my friends. "Buahaha, look mom, pajama jeans," I said.
Mind you, my mom replies with a straight face: "Oh, good. Do they have your size?" And for 2 seconds, I seriously considered committing one of the biggest fashion faux pas ever. Mostly because they're just really comfy, I felt it. They only had mediums and larges.
Watch, in 2 months I'll issue a retraction saying how sorry I am for bashing pajama jeans and actually wear them and buy them as gifts for everyone I know....
Too far? I guess. But until then, Pajama jeans are just. Plain. Odd. The cashier, in her early to mid 20's (of sensible constitution I believe), then turns to my mother and says: " Ahugh, yee-ahh, and they're so 'come-feeah.' Eye-uh have a pare muselfe"
I shot my mother a look of horror and confusion. Translation please? Mother hurried to rectify the situation: "I bet you have some, they look pretty comfy." (*Sarcasm masked with grace.) What country am I in?
And I attend college in this town. I hope I've retained my clipped Washingtonian diction. I mean, who knows, I was about to buy those pajama jeans.
