Ode to the Fanatics, who will wear red, white and blue tomorrow, and not just because white is the new black for summer:
There are few things that irk me, but they exist as the following:
1.Distasteful white shoes in any season
2. Suspenders and belts worn at the same time (then why wear them?)
3. Small talk
4. OTHER individuals deciding how I will waste my time
5. actually having my time wasted and being helpless to the imposition, as well as being acutely aware of it.
6. Seersucker/other clothing materials worn out of season.
7. and ill-timed impropriety.
But there's something that irks me the most, Fanatics. You heard me. And Americans are acutely and imperceptibly good at it. They take a devastatingly sick or outrageously unbelievable instances to call themselves American. Sure, heck if we want to implement the ideals of community or solidarity in everyday life but here we have the capture and death of Osama Bin Laden as an opportunity to embody all that we consider "American". Capitalism and being Amurican at its best: BUY MORE THINGS. Consumption, of anything and everything we can lay our grubby little Amurican obese hands on. Prove me wrong. I bet, as we speak, there are street/online vendors already making t-shirts and collector's items for us to commemorate the event with. The t shirts will probably render dingy on one wear that we will promptly dispose of, with accompanying American flags and banners all made in China [or if you were born in the 90's, in Taiwan]. All of which will be promptly be thrown away in a week or two when reality hits us: we just spent money on crap we bought on our way to work that we really don't need.
SO maybe my logic is flawed? Ok. I grew up in D.C. when the Pope came, President Ronald Regan died, 9/11 happened when school let out early, the Sniper attacks pervaded and I bravely walked from my car to the school building wishing we could have recess even though I did my homework then anyway... Shall we continue? Call me bitter? Cynical? I can say I've seen my fair share of purchasable crap in light of adverse conditions.
But on the flip side we could help buoy a faltering economy by employing the street vendor and his marketable crap. Don't get me wrong, I love crap. I grew up as that little child that had to posses any and everything that was dyed pink. Even to the lengths that I always ate pink ice cream
That is, on the rare occasions when 6year old Mia ate it.
So, you fanatics of Amurica, celebrate this moment in history by buying even more crap you barely have room for in Suburbia. I compel you. I demand you. Please be Amurican. Capitalism needs you now. Take the death of a foreigner as the opportunity to be proud to live in this country.
