For the Love of Texts

Yes, with a blog of this title, I thought it aptly appropriate to begin in such a fashion.

Yes, marriage and dating. If' you've ever met me, you'll know that I'm quite silly and lively, capricious in my adventures and at times boisterous. However, as a child I was quite the opposite. I was what every parent hoped for with the expression "seen and not heard", with my nose either buried in a book in the company of adults or choosing my company carefully within my own age demographic, often finding their personalities base and their vocabulary far behind my own. That was grade school.

I was, and still am, ruled by the same brain that categorizes love and romance as a silly and useless waste of time. I suppose my life was so fulfilled with other engagements like the ingestion of knowledge and its application as well as enriching my life with exposure to music and the arts, that such advances were trivial in nature. 

What my parents had couldn't be love, it was practical, functional and certainly far removed from what the vapid chickflick stars purported. And their male counterparts? Promising unrealistic affection for these hyper-sexualized archetypes? Me, the bookworm? Not a chance. We need practical, solid, applicable facts and knowledge, none of these feelings and B.S.

I progressed into middle school and the same situation followed: most girls were catty and annoying, and the boys, well they had some growing and maturing to do. Go learn something and then we'll talk. Again, I relied on my literary and music friends like Louisa May Alcott and Mozart to sustain me. Then a series of events led me to transfer to an all-girls school for 8th grade, where I'd spend my next 5 years of education.

New school, new classes, another year passed and I learned nothing. So not only was I at a new school, but I was also bored out of my mind.

But that's beside the point. And high school passed languidly and then college. I remember when I realized that I'd live down the hall from boys, they'd be in my classes, bothering my learning process. And to top it off, they were from public school. I thought I was going to die. But then I realized something, in the 5 years that had passed, males had become somewhat less impish. Some, if not most, had interesting things to say.

And they were everywhere.

Yes, everywhere. With so many to choose from, my mind was in a haze. Wow, I suppose I do see the purpose of this dating thing, I suppose. Tall ones, skinny ones, fat ones, short ones and from all over the world. I was distracted with how great they smelled and their large intelligent eyes that were alert with activity in front of active brains.

So this is the part in the story where I tell you I start dating, which did happen. I did acquire one said boy species to fawn over, if you can so associate it and that ran a 5 week course 3 years ago. I find myself so engrossed in my own life that dating, even friendship, seems to be an insurmountable task.

And then 5 months ago I found the perfect guy.
And then he graduated and now lives in the Northeast.
I suppose I'm back to square one? We'll see. Dating, marrying and settling down is just odd I suppose, another activity to add to the list of life goals, after I start my own company.

The Best Doughnut I Ever Had

So it was that kind of morning, woke up after a night out and had gotten the first night of rest in 3-4 days? Getting a full 8 hours of sleep was glorious. Then mom wanted to babble on about accessories, which left  me with 30  mins to shower and bike to class--in wedges.

I can do it, but I always feel like I look really odd. Picture it: a tall girl clad in a black knee length dress with long flowing wavy hair of astronomical volume cycling at top speed through a melange of dazed students ambling to class before noon. I'm sure I'm perfectly radiant.

Strange times.

So I deftly maneuvered my bike, chained it to a rack, extricated myself from a mess of wheels and bike chains and only 10 minutes remained to get to class on time.

Then I saw them: a team of nervously hovering t shirt clad minions around a table. So either this was a group of students visiting from a high school or a job recruiting table. I spotted a networking opportunity

Shark time, zeroing in on the target and moving toward it with purposeful speed. I spotted free pens, cups and white boxes which could only mean one thing: catered food, and my soon to be breakfast.

Total winning.

I felt out the crowd as I got closer, there were 2 middle aged adults and the rest were of student age. I suspected the adults of small talk and the students reluctant to dish out the free pens. I strategized how to walk away with free stuff, and decrease the small talk. If its' one thing I vehemently detest is shallow small talk.
"Hi" I addressed the woman, who seemed to know what was going on. The rest of the tshirt cult entertained their smart phones, even as I approached.
"I like your dress."
"Thank you" I said in a clipped tone, "what is this? Who are youguys?" I asked pointedly.
"AHHMMee, we're an accounting and tax firm. What's your major?"
"Communicaiton"
"Mmm, oh." She pursed her lips, "We're not looking for Communication majors..." her voice trailed off. I picked up the slack.
" Well, I'll enjoy your free stuff and take a pamphlet. Pens?"
"Yah, take a pen and tell your friends...we have donuts? Do you wanna doughnut" She was trying to placate me. I'll accept it.

 Donuts? Doughnuts? What are those? What. Are. They. My brain fished for the association.
"Here, pick one." She indicated to an open box. The spread looked a little dry and stale. Err, do I still want one?
"We also have sprinkles." A sealed box was opened to reveal the glazed and sprinkled beauties.

I reasoned with them aloud, more for myself than for them. "I normally don't eat doughnuts, but sprinkles are my favorite!"

HEADRUSH! I love sprinkles, and my mouth began to salivate. I hoped it wasn't noticeable as my mind went into a primal trance. I'm pretty sure this trance also takes over when I see sequins and gorgeous well dressed males. Especially when they're dressed in suits.

Get a hold of yourself Mia.

But here's the embarrassing part, the saliva leaked from the left side of my mouth, I think. Was it really there? Was I actually salivating over a doughnut visibly? I mean, I can't remember the last time I'd had a doughnut, and my brain seemed to like them. Alot.

I raised my left hand to the corner of my mouth. Confirmed. Saliva had leaked from the side of my mouth. Embarrassed, I glanced over at the student unpacking catalogues from a box to see if she'd noticed. She stared at me, her mouth slightly agape and her eyes expanded to the size of quarters. She saw it too.We stared at each other for 2 seconds, absorbing the realization that both of us knew I was salivating over a doughnut.

AWKWARD.

I averted my attention back to the middle aged woman, who had begun to assemble my circular treat with an accompanying paper plate and napkin.

Stellar 5 star treatment here. Ok, ok...

"Here." I bent to accept it. Being 5'7" and wearing wedges grants me a height advantage.
"Uh. thanks" Save face, save face, save face. I hurried away after grabbing a pamphlet and pen.

And that was the best doughnut I'd ever had.

Saving Women, One Purse At a Time

The gift of choice, something I've often taken for granted. After conducting this interview and transcribing it, I have come to the striking realization that as a woman in the modern world, I have been extremely privileged with the option of choice. Like race and other issues concerning oppressed demographics, we seem to think that because women can wear pants and skirts way above their knees and attend University we have come very far to overcome imposed disadvantages and in some respects we have. Personally I can attest to the fact that my freedom of choice is something I have always had the liberty of. Certain things like observing my faith, respecting my family and self, and completing my education with at least with a B.A./B.S.  degree were things that were not optional in my family.

Every day I wake up with the choice of what I wear, what I do and how these decisions will define my future. So if my life were a direct representation of what women's lives are like across the globe, I'd say we're in decent shape. However, it is not. Women subjected to human trafficking are siphoned into it as a means to make a livelihood. As Dr. Martin Luther King once stated: "Injustice anywhere is threat to justice everywhere." That's where our friends at NOMI NETWORK step in.

NOMI NETWORK is an incorporated nonprofit based in New York, New York which employs women whose lives have been ravaged by human trafficking and encourages them to acquire a skill-set that will benefit them in a professional workplace. These women work sewing chic handbags and purses whose sale go directly back to the organization which supports these women as they transition to a healthier way of life. This issue, as with anything concerning women and their education holds a dear place in my heart, prooved very challenging to write and research for.

Over a month ago, Diana Malm, the co-founder and president of Nomi Network, granted Southern Fashionista this interview. Here's her story: 

Southern Fashionista: So, could you tell us a little bit about yourself and what your duties are as co-founder for the organization?
Diana Malm: I went to graduate school at NYU and majored in ART, I got my masters in Business Administration and then I spent a Summer in Cambodia where I came accross a ship of human trafficking and decided that i really wanted to do something to focus on this area; particularly helping women who are survivors become self sufficient. And um, that was one of the benefits of Nomi. After that we went back and Alyssa, who I recruited on board, and she's also a co founder, we went back to Cambodia to do an assessment in terms of what kind of intervention we could do to really help women and the organizations that are on the ground there. So my main responsibility has been for the past two years is really: recruiting the board members, we have a list of who they are on our website; also attracting funding, help shoot some more programs in Cambodia and soon to be India. [We also] help women not only build up their skill set but also develop products and um, help facilitate the market linkages between what's being produced and what's really selling in the U.S. and the global market. We help create a demand for their products and the profit goes back to their education and training. So I really help in terms of thought strategy and as well as developing proposals for funding and um meeting with donors and also really guiding the day to day operations of the organization from a higher level perspective.

SF: Excellent, now um, from where are the women that you help through your organization?
DM: They're in Cambodia primarily and we're going to be launching progrmas in India soon. So right now they're primarily in Cambodia.
SF: Cool. Do youguys work from a design and then the young women reproduce that or do you rely on their creative input? Tell us a little bit about the creative process
DM: Sure, well right now we are mainly workign with designers in New York City and then we have a lead designer who goes over to Cambodia and she basically helps the orgaizations, Kinda like being the trainer. The women that are more skilled, she works with them. But she also works with the women that aren't as skilled and in terms of encouraging them to think outside of the box, helping them really um, kinda focus on their colleagues and the whole aspect--

SF: Right
DM: And so, she's pretty much there 6 months out of the year and soon to be there longer. She has a background in fashion, merchandising, design, and business. So she's also part of our team and is the lead in developing a more comprehensive program that focuses on not only entreprenuership training but also marketing, also technical skills; some women cannot sew So kind of not saying that we want to create more and more women that can sew, but we want them to have teh technical skills as well as entrepreneur skills in which they can really rise above their circumstances and move toward other professions. So that's a programme we're developing and raising funds for right now.

SF: Cool, so from these skills that they have learned, what have the women gone on to do later in life? And could you perhaps tell us a story or two about a few of the women that have benefitted from it.
DM: Yeah I can um, I can tell you that our organization is only about two years old and so...I can't quote you success stories. We do have an idea of what we want to get to...but it takes years and years for that to happen. But I will say that there are success stories of women that have been able to provide for their children through the organizations we work with, who provide fair wage, health care, child care and other benefits that help them to keep a job and earn a living wage for their children. Some of them have sent their children to school, others desire to--fifty percent of the women that work in Cambodia are illiterate and--so women desire to learn their local language, read and write. Another woman, now she wants to be a secretary for a non- government organization there and being a secretary and being in an office job is highly desirable in Cambodia where the economy is still very much agriculturally based and there is some manufacturing in their society. So having a job as a secretary is very desirable. Now that she has skills in working with people and coming to the job on time and y'know being able to communicate, being able to read and write their local language.

SF: Very well. What is the most rewarding aspect of what you do for the women and what you do personally. What is the most rewarding thing for you?
DM: Yeah, I think the most rewarding thing for our organization is just sharing their stories and being able to fill a need really. Alot of women, they end up in the vicious cycle of having to return to the trade because they have no other economic opportunities. And one of the main reasons why they get lured or sucked into the industry is really because of poverty and a lack of education and opportunity. So I really see the value and the need for what we're doing so I find it very rewarding that we're proposign this new investment to people and to help them, those that have been, y'know entrenched in this industry to be able to rise above. So what really fuels me is when I get to meet with the women at the shelters and the girls we definately don't work with on the deep level other than providing them with classes and some--and just visitng their shelter and seeing what the needs are. We really don't work with girls right now. But I think in terms of the women I find it really rewarding to be able to hear their stories and see the  progression of their lives in terms of coming from a place of no choice and now having choice: having choice of working, havign choice of providing for tehir family, having choice and opportunities being presented to them. Y'know even though the populaiton is ignored by the government in Cambodia by the mainstream populaiton  and economy. I really find value in what we're doing: being able to care out opportunities for them to not only work but  eventually move into other careers. Living out their dreams: begoming a teacher, becoming a nurse, becoming a pediatrician. And I've heard women express to me 'I believe that that can happen' y'know with the support of our organization and many others.

SF: Very well, thank you so much for your time, take care!
DM: You too!


Addendum: Because our interviewee was a bit short on time, here are a few more questions that were answered via email:

What materials do you use in your products?
recycled rice bags

Who is the brand geared toward?
Cause-oriented women, college students, moms and young professionals

What are the best ways to spread awareness about the brand and its mission?
purchasing a bag on www.buyherbagnotherbody.com and hosting a home sales party.

How would you describe the line and how it reflects your cause?
Vibrant colors and hopeful


For more information, do visit their site: http://www.buyherbagnotherbody.com/

Farmer's Market Fashion Fodder

Yes, my mildy witty title just tickled me pink! I love locally grown produce, and even more organic fashion! Here is a tween of prime model material and dressing like one too! :) Enjoy! 

Pajama Jeans THEY LIVE!

Dear discerning individuals who wish to leave their house comfortably,

Please do not assault my eyes with the visual monstrosity termed Pajama Jeans.

Sincerely,
A college student who doesn't wear comfy clothes to class

My discovery of epic disbelief began as it always does: in the checkout line of Wal Mart. Don't get me wrong, I love Wal mart. My mother will forever shop in Wal mart, Costco, Sam's Club...you get the picture. I'm still surviving off of packs of pens and reams of paper she bought at closeout rates when I was 8. If I recall correctly, one pack of 4 pens was no more than 5 cents.

So yes, when my mom's paying, I can stomach the interesting encounters Wal Mart provides.

So back to school (college) shopping provided the purchase of usual necessities: wholesale volumes of laundry detergent, bath soap, fruits and veggies, and a few magazines if I say "But Mommy!" and bat my eyes a few times. And I thought it only worked on making my dates pay for dinner, apparently the eye-batting gets me what I want from everyone. Winning.

Checkout line: I load everything on the conveyor belt and hope that it's not filthy or wet from the frozen food condensation the guy in front of us left behind. Mother will make the cashier wipe it down before we load our purchases. And then make me wipe off the groceries before I put them in the fridge at home.

Not lying.

The smell of Clorox bleach immediately invokes memories of my mother and my sterile childhood. I rarely got sick.

ANYWAY, back to the conveyor belt and our purchases. So I'm waiting for mother to pay and we conveniently were in the "not sold in stores" and "weird trading cards" aisle. Yep, you know which one I'm referring to. You go there just for the shake weights and dachshund snuggies only sold in pink.

Look at this sexy beast. I wish I had a dog who knew what channel he wanted to watch. Don't worry, boy dogs wear pink snuggies too, and they get the ladies. Remember, tough guys wear pink.

And then I saw it PAJAMA JEANS. Oh yes my friends. "Buahaha, look mom, pajama jeans," I said.

Mind you, my mom replies with a straight face: "Oh, good. Do they have your size?" And for 2 seconds, I seriously considered committing one of the biggest fashion faux pas ever. Mostly because they're just really comfy, I felt it. They only had mediums and larges.

Watch, in 2 months I'll issue a retraction saying how sorry I am for bashing pajama jeans and actually wear them and buy them as gifts for everyone I know....

Too far? I guess. But until then, Pajama jeans are just. Plain. Odd. The cashier, in her early to mid 20's (of sensible constitution I believe), then turns to my mother and says: " Ahugh, yee-ahh, and they're so 'come-feeah.' Eye-uh have a pare muselfe"

I shot my mother a look of horror and confusion. Translation please? Mother hurried to rectify the situation: "I bet you have some, they look pretty comfy." (*Sarcasm masked with grace.) What country am I in?

And I attend college in this town. I hope I've retained my clipped Washingtonian diction. I mean, who knows, I was about to buy those pajama jeans.

The Bostonian

Yes, I have gone back to knitting and I know it's summer and hot as crap, but winter will be here soon. SO for all of those pro-active individuals who like getting snugly with scarves, here is my first forray into scarf selling! Tell your frends and family!

Go here for more info: http://www.etsy.com/listing/76534380/knit-scarf

I originally made this for my friend moving to Boston, MA. (My brother studied up there so I know how cold it can get.) But he'll be here in August, so I have time to make another.

So, needless to say, I will be more than happy to ship one to ya! I'm making one in alabaster presently. Photos to follow soon!


Till soon, much love,

Southern Fashionista

Hello from Wine Country!

Yes, I know the wine festival at the Inn was over 2 weeks ago, but I need to give the posting its due justice and time as well as highlight the vendors there. However I did want to mention that this newly minted 21 year old, pictured below, had in no way passed up the opportunity to enjoy wine and its effects in a responsible environment: namely an open courtyard in broad daylight with wineries from all over the county and beyond.

Taking nine credits over teh summer was one of the worst ideas ever. How did i expect to accomplish that much in 6 weeks? But I have, victoriously.

Until then, I would like to say that I will feature 1-2 vendors per post from the festival in an arbitrary grouping. Or perhaps a deliberate grouping, we'll see how this goes.

Anyway, till soon, much love,

Southern Fashionista